A Vocalised Maternal Instinct

This weekend we went to Paultons Park for a family day out with my mother-in-law. It was a great day though something happened for the second time in two weeks. My maternal instinct became vocalised…

J looks older than she actually is, she’s 2 years and 5 months (nearly) yet looks 3-4 years old and has the physical ability of someone the same age. It’s quite easy for people to mistake her level of understanding and speech because of this

We were in the queue to see the 4D movie with her and there was a family in front of us with several boys. One of the older boys started looking at J, he then started talking to one of the other boys and then they both looked round at her together and giggled. What he said upset me, he told the other boy to look at how big her eyes were in her glasses and how silly they looked. An overwhelming urge to protect and defend her kicked in (how dare someone be rude about my daughter) and I told him in no uncertain terms that she is only 2 and to be nice to her

I don’t understand what would make someone want to do this, to say something about another being, another child, but it happened and made me remember that it happened to me at school. I wore glasses from a young age, had long curly hair and was quite academic. For whatever reason (I wasn’t ‘the norm’ perhaps?) I was verbally abused because of it, often being called “4-eyes”, a “boffin”, “secretary”, “Deirdre Barlow” and so on. Comments and actions that my parents tried to protect me from and were pushed to the back of my mind throughout adulthood but are incredibly relevant now

This week has seen many stories and updates regarding school placements. On the back of this I was advised that next year we will be applying for a school placement for our children for the 2017 school year (EEK!). When this happens and J becomes a fully fledged schoolchild, who will be there to protect her and even defend her when someone says something upsetting, or even does something which could hurt her? What happens if she encounters the same as she did at the theme park today?  School is really not that far away, and it terrifies me

The actions over the past few weeks are something I would never have done before. I hate causing a scene and would rather let things pass. Quite often if I am unhappy with service or a meal I won’t complain as I don’t feel comfortable with confrontations, I would rather let things slide and move on

With all of this in mind I can’t stop thinking about how when you become a parent all your thoughts, dislikes and fears move aside when someone says or does something to upset your little one. Especially when they are too young to understand or defend themselves

For now, whilst I can be there for her (before she heads off to school and grows up and becomes exposed to many different scenarios) the desire to protect my girly is strong, and I am developing into the person I never thought I had it in me to be

I am fast becoming someone who steps forward and makes sure their voice and opinion is counted, and that my ladybug is not exposed to unnecessary behaviour


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One thought on “A Vocalised Maternal Instinct

  1. Astrid

    I am so glad you advocated for your daughter! You are showing hher that standing up for herself is okay and that people shouldn’t hurt other people verbally or otherwise. I applaud that! #PoCoLo


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