Content {Ordinary Moments Week 17 – 24/4/16}

I’m writing this much earlier than normal, it’s Wednesday morning, mine and J’s morning off together. I’ve just had bacon and scrambled egg for breakfast, although the bacon was off and I ended up eating just scrambled egg, and J is in the lounge munching on her grapes after eating her breakfast

As usual on a Wednesday, we are both having a slow start to the day. It is a  a steady day for us, we’re pretty tired from the past 2 days of madness, and I have to work tonight, but we like to make the most of the time we have together. As I was cooking my pasta for work for tonight I just had a feeling of content sweep over me. I’m genuinley happy with my life, I dont feel like I have to be rushing out of the house to make the most of my day, or escape for that matter, and I’m quite content with the hum of the TV in the background as I hover over my food, eager for it to finish cooking

I am feeling quite aware of it today as my Timehop reminded me this morning that 3 years ago I was sat against the canal in Guildford with a tiny J in my arms, smiling for the camera. That was the day after I had been diagnosed with Postnatal Depression and had just been prescribed medication to get me out of the hole I had somehow sunken into. My poor hubster hadn’t known what to do with himself and promptly took me to Guildford for a day out to make me feel better

Looking at the picture, I look happy, healthy, and dare I say it, content. I had a big smile on my face, and I’m sure if you didn’t know about me or my history, then you would know nothing about the greyness or blank feeling inside me, or the fact that most days I would stare at the TV, not having any courage or want to get up and out of the house, fearful of seeing the world outside of me

IMG_2297

A vicious cycle then began, guilt for working, guilt for needing my space, guilt for not making the most of a day, and guilt for not being the best wife I could be. I forced everyone to get up and out on the little time we had together, go 100mph, cram as much as I could possibly do and then get home, knackered, house as I left it, and not ready for the hectic work week that lay before me. I was on a burn out but desperately trying not to be the woman I had become when J was a baby, a scared woman

I’ve said quite a few times before that I’m out the other side, off medication and feeling like the person I used to be. From February we adjusted my hours once more and I now get a full day midweek with J. My entire balance and outlook has shifted; we take it easy, take it slow, have lots of cuddles and some quality time together. Work email gets switched off, the hubster gets the occasional message (usually of a blue sky!), but that’s it. It really is my favourite day of the week, and it’s always here and over far too quickly

I love that we both plod along at a slow pace and enjoy each other’s company, real companionship. Most weeks we aren’t dressed or leave the house until 11am, which is very unusual for me, but I don’t have a pull to get me out of the house, I want to be where my girl is, and that’s sometimes sitting in bed snuggling, her playing on the iPad and me reading, or out in the great outdoors exploring together

3 years on, and I finally understand the feeling of being content in the presence of my child. And on that note, I’m off to get dressed and ready for  Peppa Pig World with her, on her request.

“in a state of peaceful happiness”

FullSizeRender (1)

Linking with Katie at mummydaddyme for The Ordinary Moments with the arrival of their beautiful baby boy

5 thoughts on “Content {Ordinary Moments Week 17 – 24/4/16}

  1. I’m so glad you feel so content and have come out of the other side. I’m very fortunate not to have experienced post natal depression but it must be such a lonely horrible time for anyone that has.

    Like

  2. Peaceful happiness sounds pretty perfect to me! It’s so easy to get swept up in feeling like you need to go a million miles a minute and it sounds like you’ve found an even keel – I hope Peppa Pig World was fun 🙂

    Like

  3. It’s lovely when that feeling of contentment just hits you isn’t it? I think most of the time I bounce between wanting to stay in my PJs all day and do nothing, and wanting to be everywhere and doing everything all at once. It’s amazing those times when you feel like you’ve got the balance just right and you don’t need to be doing anything, other than what you are doing right now, and you just feel happy. I’m so pleased for you that you have found the right balance for you, a day of mid week sounds heavenly (I know I’m at home all the time, but a day with just my eldest would be amazing)

    Like

  4. I love this post, I love the feeling when you are just having a normal day surrounded my your family when happiness just hits you, there is simply no better feeling. Oh and your Wednesday mornings sound bliss! x

    Like

  5. What a lovely and honest post Sherry. I am so glad that you feel content and happy now. Your Wednesday mornings sound lovely. xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s